Table of Contents

SIDE A

01 Memories on the Half Shell
02 Your Car
03 Recurring
04 St. Anne of The Sunset
05 ILYSM
06 Scratching at the Sky
07 Sweater Pocket
08 Before the first gods
09 Diamonds
10 Mermaid
11 Breaking Morning
12 The Neurotic River
13 Daguerreotype
14 Ridgeline
15 New Vintage
16 Alight
17 10,000 Days
18 Roadtrip

Lit up like the moon at high noon
tires stuck in the Salton Sea
stars on loan, sighing like quiet fires
we keep our hearts together, skin-tight
the only way we make it through the night
I know we won’t out-run our ghosts this time
& that dead ol’ sun will have to wait way past dawn

Lit Up

Fried Dreams

Close friends become old friends
who are then gone with the wind
every time you fall into a new life
you ask- is this a dream again?

And every time I reach for you in the night
you’re never here anymore
that’s why I sleep with the light on
every night since you’ve been gone

You came and went like a short scene in a dream
seems like you were only around for a line or two
now when I look into the mirror for a ghost
I can never seem to find you

Sleeping in the night with the light so bright
so I never really have to close my eyes
staring at the stars so I never see a sky so dark
the only way I keep from falling apart

Maybe we’ll be born again another century
and I can start chasing you all over again
until then, I sleep with my light on + my window open
you know I’ve been down for over a century.

TIME FELL

Staring at the citrus moon,
late in the cyanide afternoon,
it’s a dicey, dismal affair
constellations stuck in her hair

Harkening back to the time of radio &
letters by post
some of the best times,
I still miss the most

You make me dizzy in the morning,
I crash right back into bed,
some days, I just unravel,
time slows, goes backwards in my head

And any which way you turn,
I know you will be facing home,
you went in so golden,
came out all stone

Time leaped like Eve onto Adam,
and then split like a Japanese atom,
time froze twisted in mid-air
and then it fell

I still see your Black Crowes t-shirt hanging off your left shoulder
and me- clinging right onto your every word
You got magenta lipstick on my blunt-
and me- I fell even further and further into you

Your memory is the best part of my history
sweatin’ in the Virginian rain
me on you, you on me
reverse and repeat

I still recall that Wyoming night we went to freeze
I tucked you into like 20 blankets and put the janky space heater on your side
finally, you fell asleep and I turned to keep watch over the stars
until all them neon lights went to sleep one by one across all the bars

Honestly, your memory is the best part of me
reminds me of when I was free, I mean really free
even now, the taste of lipstick + tequila reminds me of you leavin’ me
I know it was best for you, sometimes, I just wish it would have been good for me

I’m still walking in the Virginia rains
chasing beers chasing shots chasing trains
You said you were off to Portland
I shoulda asked you- Oregon or Maine?

Country Nights

The Return

Some blistering summer days
have frozen winter nights

Like when you’ve known for a while that it’s reality…
but it’s only sinking in just now

Tears went over your top lip
and then waited
and went under your bottom lip
but you never moved at all
They rolled off your chin
& stained into my skin

You were nowhere near embarrassed or close to overcome
Your eyes were open but you were looking through everything
me especially

Your hair was mushed, sticking to your neck
from the tears well well well
It was like dew in your lashes
you were so far away right here

I could taste your tears on your tongue
in my arms, you were elsewhere, though
Close enough to share my scarf
yet a universe away my my my

Every once in a while, you’d do something normal, like blink-
and a legion of tears would stream

And if I close my ears now,
I can hear the clanging of the Salvation Army volunteers
and the children ice-skating
freezing down over at The Galleria,
you’ve always been older than me,
although I think we are the exact same age

You never breathed,
only sighed out in sudden shudders

You never spoke
never a single word
just let me- let me
stay with me until the sun comes up
+ the first bird sings–
then I’ll be alright
then you can leave me alone
To turn back into stone

Libations

She dreams of me in matte

now that I've tasted blood

this wine is too thin.

Heathen Accent

Watching you with the kids we shoulda had

seeing you pour your heart out over

those tiny heathens that we shoulda had

and you know it, too

every-one hates sour grapes

Past Perfect

And for the first time
makes me wish I had a soul to pray for-
must have been that wine at 5 this morning-
must have been because I knew you were leaving for the coast this evening-
Catching a train to a star, I know you are

but all men unfaithful
and all children ungrateful

I’m thinking you’ll make out alright in your new life
you’re just past…you’re just past perfect
makes me for the first time wish I had a soul to pray with-
So then I could pray for your safe return

Bechet Dreams

Chasing ghosts in the Treme
you know that this room is slanted, right?
Infatuated with her face by night
scurrying from the Elysian Fields vampires
and by the fiery banks of her eyes
mes reconteurs
for her magnolia blossom wine
the burgundy bed in her room called Desire

Heaven Must Be a Freeway

There’s no better music than your sophomore year
when you met her
I’m telling you, there’s not-
That’s the best music ever made
when you took off your dad’s Stones
and Beatle records and finally put on something YOU like-
that you saved for and you walked down to
Middle Earth Records for- an import at that-
a band with a funny name, a weird haircut,
and a strange-looking record cover that sounds
absolutely delicious

Walking towards nowhere and we never get there either
Heaven must be a freeway and I’m walking across the overpass

Your shoulders so bronze from the summer
make even Rodin so damn jealous
between will and right, alone in the night
between love of life & the downright blues
freedom is the great Awakener
after that, there is no choice
either you are aware or beware
Love will always go for the jugular

Animal games we play from here on out
the melting + sighing of human replication-
two mutes in the night, tumbling over the ribs of the country
after a while in the forest, the trees stand apart
& then there is no need to speak from the heart
just a stream of non-thought & a meadow so free
almost suddenly, a creek way off on the mossy side
we’ve become each other’s moment
scarcely breathing, hardly seeing
just your hot metal mouth
silent but not empty

Maybe some night you might think of an old love
& you can’t sleep
nevermind, the moment has passed once again-
the sun has replaced the frozen moon
the North Star has gone into hiding again
what strangeness it is between awake & asleep
in those one thousand years between dreams
when a cup of water seems to be the Oceans
& what I think is Awake is what you think is Asleep
We meet somewhere down the years, I think
in some sleepy silver dream–
& I wake up with your breath on me
it’s not such a day-dream crime
I’ve just left your window one last time
it’s only your curtain sway-
the scent again of you + me in the hay-
dream-memories only so cob-web thin

Late Night Transfer

Mosaic Puzzle

I give you everything
and then everything breaks
scattered like mosaic puzzle pieces
over time, most get lost or traded away
until only a few bits remain
it’s all you have
and it becomes everything again

The Sky is Falling in Berkley

The leaves are falling in Berkeley
and it just makes you want to go home
because you know
no one lives in Berkeley
it’s just a place we go
when we want to be free

The sky is falling in Berkeley
and now I’m on my own
but it’s making me warm to know
no one’s living in Berkeley
it’s just a place our minds go
when they want to be free

They say the first bitter winds will catch you alone
They say the first bitter winds will catch you alone
I say they’ll make you alive

The heavens are calling us to Berkeley
so bring a hoodie for your soul
’cause up here it gets biting cold
and no one ever dies in Berkeley
it’s just a place we come
when we’re already free.

Accidents

Our love is a sum of its accidents
and I can’t write tonight
ah, the scrapbooks of our madness
they feel like a hangover in mid-afternoon
an echo of silence follows us
maybe again, I’ve gone too far
I’ve been sleeping funny
even when I’m awake now

And when I left your comforter
I was crawling on clouds-
I remember shouting your name
somewhere around 5 AM
when all my stars were falling
I’m in love and I’m holy again
you take my kisses like a sacrament
oh love, let your face be the last I ever see

There’s still some of you I won’t let go
I’ve spilled so much of you + yet you’re still half-full
that’s just like you
that’s just like you

You only pull this song out when you need a good cry
I don’t mind, honestly, I don’t even blame you
the end of our world wasn’t that much of a commotion, you know
a quiet crescendo, I don’t think anyone even noticed much

I’ve given away so much since I lost you
even crossed my mind to move to your town
and show up in your market and act like-
Wow, you shop here, too??

I thought I knew the low down
then you brought me way down
I even threw dirt on my own grave
I don’t recall which one of us I was trying to save

Coup de Foudre

Last I Heard

Last I heard
you were filming a movie, running out of money and daylight
last I heard
you were in some silly play, in your own mind, anyway
last I heard
you were still waiting to drop your mix tape
last I heard

Last I heard
you were waiting on some heads to buy your manuscript
last I heard
you had some Pacific Northwest podcast that really wasn’t doing so well
last I heard
you were slumming up the Eastern Seaboard, bored and going nowhere
last I heard

Last I heard
you were on your way back to Katy
last I heard
you were leaving Virginia for good
last I heard
you couldn’t make up your mind about Carolina
last I heard

Kudzu Wine

We touched heaven one too many nights
our tears froze in the snow
I put on your big coat just to kill the chill in the air
I light my candles, I can’t help my mind when it comes to you
there’s no direct translation
seems like you’re all out of cards
your only resort at this point is playing nice
nobody bothers to mention when you’ve got it all

You drag your jewels from a pigpen
like time trapped in glass
shattering in slow motion
If, in the event that I…well, never mind
there’s just no point to the point anymore
we had more when we only had each other
we had more when we had nothing at all

1338 Hearst Avenue

We used to walk down Shattuck
with the textbooks we couldn’t afford in their bookstores
we would make a left, down Bancroft Way
stop and share a smoke with a few friends along the way
Past the Café Durant
cut through campus again
over to the North Side
hoping to see that girl again
slip on down towards the park
winding up at The Castle
where there’s always something sparking up

My strawberry zinn friend
lighting new candles with old flames
I couldn’t hear you for the music
and we threw our hands up for a while
so maybe I start seeing you around again?
I love how you mispronounce Chablis
it’s got me thinking things over again
I think I’m going to let you blow my fuse
the night crawls on and you’re such a brute
with the past compressing us together-
was that first Merlot really so long ago?
Now they sell the books we write in shops on Telegraph
but when we had no money, we just shrugged
& walked over from across the field
There’s always something happening at The Castle

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