I tried to shove my too much into my pocket, forearms straining as I struggled to smash
her between my palms until she burst into sequins— a confetti crime scene. My too much crowned
herself Queen, superglued rhinestones to a scepter, put on a parade and sneezed pink boa feathers
for weeks after. She spends hours color-coordinating selfies she sends to each of my partners so no one forgets
what she looks like. She asks doyoulikemedoyoulikemedoyoulikeme do you like
music? She only gets that last part out because everyone loves music.
She wore glitter pumps to my book release,
and when the boy made of sandpaper didn’t come, she cried until she grew a tail
and swam in the saltiest sea. She lives in the hollow behind my voice box, twists around the tiny tendrils
of all the times I’ve ever been alone. Sometimes I forget to breathe.
My too much is the color the sun stings. When I put my too much in water
she sprouts arms and legs and introduces herself to the people I am trying to date.
I am always surrounded by an ocean of my own undoing. Ex-lovers have labeled her
unloveable. I have conflated the two in my head. When I try to lock my too much in a closet
she reminds me I’ve already ripped that door off its hinges. She won’t stop telling
every new person I meet how queer and polyamorous I am like it’s a personality trait.
She printed out a picture of my ass and nailed it to the bedroom wall. My wife reminds me
we’re not the only people we invite into the bedroom and both me and my too much grin
because we never half-ass anything, and I’ve got my whole ass on the wall to prove it.
BIO: Tyler Hurula (she/her) is a poet born and raised in Denver, Colorado. She is queer, polyamorous, and lives with her wife and two cats. Author of Love Me Louder (Querencia Press). Her poems have been published previously in Anti-Heroin Chic, Aurum Journal, Quail Bell Magazine, Beyond the Veil Press, Olney Magazine, and more. She values connection, authenticity, and vulnerability, and tries to encompass these values in her writing as well as everyday life.